Tuesday, November 18, 2008


India's #1 independent music blog.


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Interview #666 - Comrade Lenin

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another wonderful episode of Interview #666. I'm your host Mr.D and as usual tonight we bring to you the best of the latest up and coming artists from the world of obscure rock. It's all good bros.

Let's hear it for the chart toppers in a genre of music that serves to please all, each and every one of you, excluding the American capitalist pigs. They've been ruling the Communist Black Math Metal charts for the last 63 years with their album It Takes Six Americans To Change A Lightbulb, But Only One Chinese Fuse, and
have recently signed a multi-million rice barrel deal with record label Musics For The People, Each And Every One Of Them. Give it up for Comrade Lenin!

*sixteen men dressed alike in asbestos suits approach Mr.D. They shake his hands and sit cross-legged on the floor. One gentleman is still standing, taking pictures of the audience with a Yashica camera*

Hi Comrade Lenin! Can we have one of you introduce the band to the audience and the millions and billions of viewers worldwide.

*one person gets up*
My name is Chang. I am the lead vocalist of this band. There are twelve other people in the band whose names are also Chang. They all play the double bass drums using our one Tama drumkit and 24 sets of pedals. Those gentlemen with the black sheets of paper covering their eyes in defiance of the American hip-hop star custom of wearing sunglasses indoors are the bass players. And the guy with the camera randomly shouts Viva la Revolucion during our live shows. So we brought him along. Gerzhundheit!

Tell us something about your new album.

*one person gets up*
My name is Chang. The new album is a concept album. After the great Samurai showdown in Street Fighter 18, and the Opium War of 1840, we realised that the eastern world was much misunderstood. So we essentially came up with the idea of Die Capitalist Dog Men From The USA We Don't Want Your Gas Guzzling Cars And Your McDonalds Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as a move to clear up the misconceptions about eastern-world people. We eat Kenshitzu Fried Chicken Wings as much as anyone does. So why can't they appreciate our music an
d reduce import duties on our inexpensive products like this pocket torch for example. Only 49 cents. Cheap!

Ah! Does it have rechargeable batteries?
all 16 snigger*
*white man doesn't know... he he he*

Tell us something about this album cover. It's rather... um... striking.

*one person gets up*
My name is Chang. Chang here came up with the concept for the album cover. He felt that we had to show our loyalty on the outside and the inside. We also wanted to show the white man that the colour red is more than just a sign of our communist agenda, but also a fashionable colour of innerwear.

Finally, do you have any message for your fans.
one person gets up*
Viva la Revolucion!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

How do you Recognise a Genuine Death Metal Band?

Yeah... How do you recognise a genuine deathmetal band? If you have some pointers please leave a comment. I will start with 5 of my own.

1. The vocalist ('singer' in other genres of music) not only growls the lyrics of the song, but announces the next song growling.
"The next song is called...myyyyyyy dyyyyyyiiiinnggggg cellllpphhhhonneee battterrry...grrrrr!!!!!"

2. A drummer is recognised by the speed at which he can play the 'blast beat' and not by his understanding of rhythm and timing.
They even have a new concept called 'hyper blast beat' which is faster than the 'blast beat'. As the genre progresses over the next few years we will come across more beats like 'RDX beat','Nuclear blast beat - with controlled chain reactions'

3. They play 'Brutal Death Metal' and not rock music.
When somebody sitting besides them in the train, seeing their guitar cases,asks them what kinda music they play, they say 'Brutal Death Metal'...even though the guy might look like he never has heard anything other than Michael Jackson in english music.

4.They piss on money
'We are not doing this for the money, we are not doing this for fame. We are doing this for the (100 odd) fans. We are doing this because we love death metal. We piss on money...we piss on the government...we piss on anybody who does a 9-6 job for money'

5. do you want some deathmetal...motherfuckers
When the band comes up on stage, they don't greet the crowd with a 'hello everybody' or a 'how r u?' but say things like 'u motherfucking bastards...do you want to see some bloodshed?' or 'all you motherfuckers out there...do you want some death metal?'....and the crowd cheers back and says 'yeahhhhhh'

Monday, September 18, 2006

Citizen IMterviews with Paperslut

Hello and welcome to the first of our Citizen IMterviews. For those who don't know what I'm talking about (which basically means all of you), Citizen IMterviews is an in-depth conversation with the proletariat on Rock music and how it changes lives and make parents wonder why their children refuse to use protection.

To kick things off, we have today, Nikolai. Nikolai has been listening to Rock music since the cautious age of 21. He thinks it rocks. We found him scrummaging the shelves of Planet M looking for old Queen CDs.

Paperslut says:
Hello Nikolai. Please introduce yourself to our adoring fans and the other two guys who also read this blog.

Nikolai says:
Do you want the long version or the short version? Long one costs extra...

Paperslut says:
We'll stick to the short one please. Our readers have the attention span of orangutans with hand guns.

Nikolai says:
Well, I'm 18 till I die kinda person, 'cept I hate Bryan Adams... Apart from that, just the usual run-of-the-mill useless person...

Paperslut says:
Okay, then would I be correct in saying that you are aware of Rock music and what it does to children with much time?

Nikolai says:
Yes, rock music makes children better people, more successful druggies, more frequent wankers and more likely to walk in on their parents doing it...

Paperslut says:
Fine, fine. I see you're drinking some spiked Pennyroyal Tea. So tell us Nikolai, how does one become a Rock musician?

Nikolai says:
Well, if I knew how.... wouldn't I become one? Is that the answer we rehearsed? No? Is the correct answer option (b)?

Paperslut says:
Yes, you were supposed to say they do drugs and steal guitars from unsuspecting blind people. Idiot. Okay, next question. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say "Backstreet Boys are gay but they slept with my girlfriend. And her mother"?

Nikolai says:
That your girlfriend and her mother are ACTUALLY your boyfriend and his father... Listen man, having boobs doesnt make you female. I seen some guys with some really huge... #$#@$

Paperslut says:
Hmmm. I thought we agreed not to discuss our private lives here Nikki. Humph. Next question. Who is the better singer - Mr.Khandwala your chemistry professor, or Bono?

Nikolai says:
Um, I would give it to Mr. Khandwala, he tends to show a lot of skin... Unlike Bono who's just covering it ALL up. Now if you said Beyonce or Mr Khandwala, boy I'd be in a pickle!

Paperslut says:
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Nikolai says:
2 kilos

Paperslut says:
How many albums will the Rolling Stones make in the next five years, and what shaving cream does Mick Jagger use?

Nikolai says:
Um the answer to your first two questions is
a) Rolling Stones dont make albums! They roll and produce mass destruction of public property, like Godzilla! Except they dont lay eggs... I think
b) Mick Jagger doesn't use shaving cream, he uses K-Y Jelly.... he's figured that he gets so much action, he'd better be lubed up and ready at all times! Plus it keeps his skin baby smooth!

Paperslut says:
Okay then Mister Smartyfarts, answer me this. Who really wrote the song Smells Like Teen Spirit?

Nikolai says:
It was written by a man who was tired of answering his wife's constant queries of where he'd been and why he smelt like how he did and what it was. So he just wrote a song which involved a lot of shouting and mindless lyrics. On second thoughts, the butler wrote it. Not just any butler... THE butler

Paperslut says:
Thank you for your time Nikolai. It has been an absolute pain continuing this conversation and it has ensured that even that guy who visited our blog to seem 'cool ' won't. Do you have any message for our readers?

Nikolai says:
Yes - "Only when alone, you're allowed to moan", the more mature of your readers will get the point...

We hope you are better people.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Interview #666 - The Corpsegrinder Kid

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another fantastic, brand new, very clean episode of Interview #666. I'm your host, Mr.D and tonight we have a very special guest for you.

He's someone who's fresh, new and young. Very young. In fact, he's only eight years old and he's already released his first Black-Death-Pig-Fat-Doom-Math-Industrial Metal album, Bloodkillspill Innocentanimals which in its first week itself managed to break all sales records in this genre. Please give a warm welcome to my very special guest, a man... rather a boy, who has sold five CDs, that's right ladies and gentlemen, FIVE whole CDs to people other than those legally bound to buy it from him, the one and only CORPSEGRINDER KID!

Hi Corpsegrinder Kid, or can I just call you CK.
No. You may only refer to me as THE Corpsegrinder Kid, not just Corpsegrinder Kid. You have no idea how long I had to hold my breath before I could convince my parents to legally change my name to THE Corpsegrinder Kid. Hah! I showed them.

Okay then... (looks hesitantly to producer who's busy surfing porn on the studio provided laptop). A lot of people are really beginning to understand the genre of music you play. Tell us what inspired you to get into playing music in the first place.
Well first of all, you have to understand that the music I play is very, very difficult. To play. Though I'm all grown up and all and I can count upto 25 proper proper, my guitar is about the size of my body. And the rest of my band mates are still in primary. I mean, yesterday only Bonecruncher was telling me how his mother was not letting him watch TV and making him study all the time and his dad also is being a whiny-ass bitch you know. So there's all this angst and angryness and fustrate... f... futsrate...

Frustration that we are feeling. It's just not keeping us happy. And all the other music is just poseur. So we played around with a lot of guitar effects and I once threw my milk bottle on the ground and it made a clangy sound that I liked. So we used that. And we expressed our feelings.

Your new album, Bloodkillspill Innocentanimals, is really very interesting and it deals with a lot of interesting issues. Tell us something about that.

Well first of all, we spent a lot of time making the album. A whole bunch of effort went into it. I mean, we spent almost like THREE whole hours writing, recording and producing the album. I missed Captain Planet, Scooby Doo, Top Cat, Swat Kats and Alibaba just to make the album.
*"Oh!" crowd groans in sympathy*
It's a concept album. It's a story about a boy whose mother did not let him watch his favourite TV cartoons and so the boy gets angry and kicks a cat.

Yes, the story is very intriguing and so well told. One of your songs, Gimme Ice-cream Now Or I'll Incinerate Your Lifeless Body, has some mention of politics as well.
The war outside has been going on for years. We feel it needs to stop.
The war in Iraq?
No, no. The war between mummy and the washerlady. She just doesn't wash the clothes properly. I mean how hard is it to clean my susu pants?

Thank you so much for being with us here tonight THE Corpsegrinder Kid. Do you have any message for your fans around the world watching this show.
Don't let anyone tell you what to do. If you don't want to do your homework, don't do it. If your mummy tells you that you have to, chainsaw the bitch and burn your house down.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Please to be Reading My Insight on the Rock and Roll

I am very much agreeing with the wonderwall. Infact, I am very much liking the song "The Wall' by Pink and Floyd. Both of them were very good musicians.

I am absolutely believeing myself that 'Boysons' make 'gay-type' music. Infact, I am believing that any musician or band who does not have the following 'wordings' in his 'song lyrics' is of the gay.

1. Corpse
2. Blood
3. Maggots
4. Interstine
5. Blood-thirsty
6. Fetus
7. Carcass
8. War

And they should also be having a 'reverse cross' somewhere on their album cover.
Will be pleasing to discuss more about the favorite music of mine in the next post.

The madness continues...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Statement of Purpose

"I like many, many bands. I have heard almost all the Rock. But I don’t like cheap poseurs like Linking Park and Limp Bizkit. They are not even using the right way of singing. I also don’t like the Backst(r)eet Boys and the Boysons. But I am liking the hard Rock. That is good. I like Metallica and Guns and Roses. Those three bands are my favourite."

Here begins the madness.